50 New Year Affirmations for Stoners

I’m not really one of those “new year, new me” types of people. To be honest, I find it tiring to be expected to give yourself a fresh start, a new diet, a new workout routine all because it’s the first of the year. Every day can be the start of a new year. 

However, I also feel like 2020 kicked my ass just like it kicked everyone’s asses. It was exhausting emotionally, physically, and financially for everyone. And I just thought it would be fun to lay out some affirmations for the new year specifically for all the lit ladies (and theydies) out there.

Let’s just continue to do whatever it takes to feel good about ourselves now and all throughout the next year, and decade, and century. 

1. I smoke flowers and I won’t let weeds smoke me.
2. Let all good green things flow to me in abundance. *money*weed*plants*
3. There is no going low, only getting higher and higher.
4. I’m smart. I’m creative. I’m beautiful. But I don’t have ALL the answers and I can fuck off. 
5. Ok there is some going low, but only because they went lower.
6. May my stash jar stay full and my mind stay open.
7. Drink a glass of water. Wash your glasses. And smoke some weed. 
8. You’re not shwaggy ass, seedy dirt weed your cousin Dave grows in his mom’s backyard, you’re the dankiest dank on the  top shelf baby and don’t you forget it. 
9. You can’t make everyone happy, you’re not a free ounce. 
10. Cry a river. Build a bridge. And smoke a bong on it at sunset. 
11. Tell the voice inside your head to sit down and smoke a bowl. 
12. If there’s green in my pipe, I’m doing all right. 
13. Your vibe affects your high.
14. The weak want revenge. The strong seek forgiveness. The high will ignore.
15. Are you a genius? No. But can you find six ways to make a bong out of what’s in your bag? Yes. And in my book, that’s a win. 
16. Why be low when you can get high? 
17.  If you have to get high just to get by… that’s ok. 
18. Be as gentle with yourself as you are with a new glass rig.
19. You deserve to get high. Remember that. 
20. Just believe that good weed is always on the way. 
21. Be someone you’d want to sesh with. 
22. I will not worry about things out of my control. But I will smoke about it. 
23. I deserve love and weed in abundance. 
24. People like smoking weed with me.
25. I give myself permission to smoke when I need to. 
26. I am worthy of all the cannabis the universe wants to offer me. 
27. All conflict in my relationships will be handled calmly and respectfully over some damn good weed. 
28. I don’t always have to win. But I do need to be high. 
29. I refuse to criticise myself. 
30. Feelings of happiness come naturally to me, and if not, there’s weed. 
31. I am focused on enjoying life and I find happiness wherever I’m high. 
32. I am grateful for everyone in my life who shares their happiness, love, and/or cannabis with me. 
33. I look at life honestly and realistically. But cannabis helps me stay positive. 
34. If it makes saying, “no,” easier, smoke a bowl first.
35. I am calm, happy, content, and high.
36. I can be wrong and that’s ok with me. 
37. Highness is within my grasp. 
38. The only thing higher than me is my confidence. 
39. I attract money and cannabis into my life in abundance. 
40. I will give myself space to make mistakes, grow, and learn. And I will have cannabis to help me through that growth.
41. Cannabis makes it easier for me to listen to my intuition and follow my gut.
42. I sparkle like the trichomes on the frostiest bud. 
43. Everything will work out for me. And if it doesn’t, I have weed to get me through it. 
44. I am happy, healthy, and high. 
45. I accept everyone as they are, even if they don’t use cannabis, except for racists.
46. My body is filled with healing energy whenever I inhale cannabis.
47. I know, accept, and am true to my higher self. 
48. My happiness does not depend on cannabis but it helps. 
49. I am higher than my struggles. 
50. I don’t have to fix everything immediately. I can sit and get high first.