Usually, around this time of year, I’m … well alone-ish. Until recently, Geoff and I didn’t have any friends here in Colorado Springs. Since we’re transplants from out of state, most of our friends and family live up and down the east coast. Compound that with the fact that we both work from home and I have thoughts about the type of people who participate in group hobbies for grown-ups (mainly that the type of folks who would do a group hobby like that probably aren’t the type of people I’m going to want to form long term friendships with)– well it’s a little hard to make friends.
That’s a big digression from where this article is going to go and in the first paragraph? Wow, this is going to be a fun article.
Where was I going? Right… even though I’m USUALLY ALONE this time of year (don’t worry in non-pandemic years there is family close enough to visit, and bonus I even like them), I know that a lot of you beautiful buds are used to spending the holidays getting warm with your family and friends through sharing adult beverages, and adult smokeables (i guess all smokeables are adult smokeables, aren’t they?). And maybe you were considering having a friend or family member over to have some kind of holiday-themed afternoon or evening together doing something… anything… that might make this holiday feel a smidge more normal. I’m not going to judge you for that. I’m someone who is used to spending time alone and I know how hard it can be.
I am going to give you some tips for hosting a SMALL smoke sesh this holiday season as safely as possible. I think it can be done but you should use as much caution as possible. Your need to get high with other people should not trump the safety of your community. Let’s not be responsible for any super spreader events just to get lit, ok? Ok.
Arrange An Outdoor Space
First of all, I do not recommend hosting an indoor event. I think we can all agree that an indoor event right now would be a foolish thing to try. If it’s too cold, then I recommend hosting a zoom smoke sesh or some other video conferencing service that you prefer.
If it’s not too cold to smoke outside, gather up some outdoor seating and arrange a space for each of your guests to sit 6 feet apart from each other, grouping together seats for those who are arriving from the same household.
If you can, make a small table available for each seat/seat grouping. Be creative. You can use upside-down buckets or small trash cans as a makeshift table. You want to limit mingling.
Don’t forget your lighting. If you can, rig up some floor lamps from outside (think the opening credits/them in friends). Tape some fairy lights on the wall of your house. Light some candles. Make it pretty.
Get Plenty of Blankets
Most of the country will likely be pretty chilly on any evening in December, make sure to provide blankets or some other kind of warmth for your guests. If your local laws permit you to, consider building a small fire (using a firepit to contain it safely), or getting one of those heating lamps (you may be able to rent one locally).
If you don’t have enough blankets to share, or it’s unsafe in your area to have a small fire pit, make sure to remind your friends to bring their own spare layers.
Hand Sanitizer And Snack Station
It is important to do what you can to keep everyone safe if you’re going to be hosting a gathering during a pandemic. I recommend setting up a pump bottle of hand sanitizer at a snack table. If possible, offer single-serve snacks. Otherwise encourage everyone to sanitize their hands before they take from any communal plates. Remind everyone that they don’t want to get their friends sick and definitely don’t want to get sick from their friends. Yes, you will totally sound like “the mom.” Oh well.
For snacks, try to get a variety of things you know will hit anyone’s munchie tooth (munchie tooth? Is that a thing? yktfv). If you’re going upscale and classy, you cannot go wrong with a charcuterie board, but try to keep in mind how folks eat from a charc board (with their fingies). Consider making a mini charc board for each invitee.
Everyone Gets Or Brings Their Own Piece
I always have plenty of flower to go around, but I don’t always have plenty of clean glass. If you love glass, you may have a pipe for every day of the entire year which will make it easy for everyone to have their own piece. If you’re more of a joint smoker, like me, you may need to remind your guests to bring their own lighters and glass. Hopefully, they already know you well enough to know whether or not you provide flower to your guests and bring their own.
Additionally, I would try to provide ashtrays and pokeys for each seat/seat grouping. If you don’t have enough ashtrays to go around, I’ve made a few out of aluminum/tin foil that work perfectly for an evening. Just take a 12inch square piece of foil, fold the ends in towards the middle on all four sides, then fold up the edge about half an inch or so all the way around to create something of a square bowl.
Not Enough Glass To Go Around? Teach Everyone How To Roll Their Own
Since I’m more of a joint and blunt smoker, I’d be the type of person to provide everyone a pack of rolling papers and tips and host a small joint-rolling class for my friends and family. It is a fun activity and guarantees that everyone keeps their own spit in their own mouths. Also, I love teaching people how to do something new.
Don’t know how to roll? Show them how to make a pipe out of a spent soda or beer can. That’s sure to impress your mom and dad.
Merry Christmas (and happy holidays)… ya filthy animals. Stay safe and clean out there.
Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash
